If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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