i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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