whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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