Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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