All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
