I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
