My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
