so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
