apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
