i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
