this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We are two peas in an std pod
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
