so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
