I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
