one might say we're banned from that church
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
