Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
