Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
