i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
