Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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