You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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