Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
