Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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