I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
