There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
