Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
