I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
