This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
