you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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