Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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