I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
