we were pretty classy up until the second keg
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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