i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Alive.
So much puke
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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