census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
