So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
