Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
