I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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