So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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