it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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