hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
