Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
