p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
