Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
