girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
