My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
