Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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