i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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