Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
