I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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