I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
