we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
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All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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