i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
