How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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